Films of 2019. Summary
Summing up the outgoing year, tremblingly recalling the good and closing the door to the bad, as a rule, is easy and pleasant. However, in the cinema of 2019, something went wrong, and I want to scold this or that project much more than to praise. Whether our high expectations are to blame – after all, in 2019 there was a disastrous ending to the most popular TV series of our time, which disappointed many the end of the epic with Thanos and the old Avengers, and the end of the first Disney Star Wars trilogy. But, so as not to offend anyone, we prepared for each film a reward. Which of them is the analogue of Golden Raspberry, and which is the Oscar, decide for yourself. And let no one go offended.
Just a reservation: on our list there are only well-known paintings that were watched by all or almost all moviegoers. We leave festival films and TV shows (yes, we mentioned Game of Thrones, but it’s just clickbait). So, remember how it all began?
And it all began, here is a surprise, from January and New Year’s holidays. The Ministry of Culture rolled out the “T-34” (in common people – “tank biathlon”) with the Kozlovsky’s laurels, I’m filming everywhere, always filming by Alexander Petrov. The film receives skates for caterpillars and an envelope asking the respected Minister of Culture not to compare people dissatisfied with Russian paintings with fascists.
The next Creed 2 gets the Rocky Balboa glove for the best sports drama of the year, but that’s only because no other films of this genre came out this year at all. In any case, in a wide rental. Next in the program was the first comic book in 2019, “Glass” by M. Knight Shyamalan, which rightfully grabs the M. Knight Shyamalan award. We don’t know how it looks and what it consists of, because we are sure that another twist is hidden somewhere here.
Ended in January, several films claiming the title of “worst movie in the history of cinema.” Of these, two films are presented as comedies, from which, however, I want not to laugh, but to cry. Another one is declared as a drama, but from it there is no desire to cry anymore, but to gouge out your eyes so that you do not accidentally see any other Stephen Knight films, you are always welcome. What kind of films are you interested in? Ok, let’s go in order. “Holmes and Watson” is solemnly awarded the title of worst comedy of the year. For the desecration of the name of the great detective, we add here a control shot from the gun at point blank range so that no one would raise this corpse for future viewing.
Easy Grandmother 2: Elderly Avengers also becomes the worst comedy with the amendment “domestic”, a bit later sharing this title with the “Sober driver” received from us for “high moral values”, and takes it from the boarding house for the elderly with an engraving “ the presence of the word “Avengers” in the title does not automatically make the film good. ” “Sea of Temptation” triumphantly wins a billboard with three beautiful words – “you can’t watch, have mercy”. The Egyptian papyrus goes there for the most perverted scenario (which the creators are sure to not even explain at gunpoint at the temple), and a reward for the worst acting duet on the screen. Or a triangle. Ask the scriptwriters, they know better what kind of geometric shape they planned there. Is that all? But no, not all. January ended with a domestic parody of “Titanic” – “Save Leningrad”, which received a piece of the very iceberg in the stern and mercilessly drowned at the box office.
Toward the end of winter, the situation with varying success tried to improve. The sponsors of the cartoon “Lego. Film 2” became the owners of the gift course of lectures “erroneous investments” for a four-time contribution to the same thing. From the pictures released on Valentine’s Day, the following came out – anti-utopias about the cybernetic big-eyed Alita: Battle Angel grateful spectators, who finally saw at least one expensive blockbuster in two months, write on the Moon in huge letters “Thank you!”, And “Handsfree” “takes iPhone with Alyear with a pear instead of an apple, because she did not succeed in surpassing the original” Ideal Strangers “. And if in this case we are talking about a carbon copy, then the brazenly plagiarized Abigail tape is marked with the Order of the hack worker of the first degree for a miserable likeness.
Late for February 14 and somehow not timed to March 8, the “Mistresses” tear off the stormy applause of avenged women and turn out to be abandoned rotten tomatoes from exposed men. The most romantic film of the month was Seven Dinners. Marzipan heart goes to Kurtsin and Maximova. And the most touching event, capable of melting even the most callous souls, was a farewell to Icking and Toothless in “How to Train Your Dragon 3”. And although the desire to see the heroes again loved by the audience is strong, we bitterly ask the creators to stop at such a high note.
With the onset of spring, the time has come for film comics, with which we want to end quickly. “Captain Marvel” takes away from the “Kingdom of Darkness” the title of “the worst Marvel Studio film.